Style Exercises
Sample Effective Business Writing Style Exercise
Can you spot the business style errors this writer made? See next page for rewrite.
| To: |
All Staff |
| From: |
Frank Gunyun |
| Subject: |
Announcement |
C’MON PEOPLE! I HAVE NOTICED SOME INCOMPLETE EXPENSE REPORTS. I AM WRITING TO TELL YOU THAT YOU NEED TO BE SURE TO FILL OUT THE EXPENSE REPORT FORMS TO ACCURATELY INCLUDE DATES, AMOUNTS, TYPES OF EXPENSE (HOTEL, DINNER, TAXI, ETC.), ALL RECEIPTS. YOU ALL SAY YOU WANT YOUR REIMBURSEMENT CHECKS QUICKLY BUT I CAN’T DO THIS IF YOU DON’T COOPERATE WITH ME!!! IT’S JUST THAT I NEED EVERYONE TO HELP ME WITH THIS! IF YOU HAVE THE NEED FOR MORE INFORMATION, CALL ME.
Problems:
• Vague subject line
• All caps
• No paragraphing
• No structuring of list
• Unprofessional language
• Negative tone
• Wordiness
• Punctuation errors
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| “The way your employees write is either helping or hurting your business.” | | JoAnn Syverson, Communications faculty member, Carlson School of Management |
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